Acknowledge: to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of.
Swallow: to accept without question or suspicion.
Welcome: given full right by the cordial consent of others.
These three actions can make a relationship soar I believe. If two people focus on these three things, they are set. Acknowledge that your partner may see things a different way, need different things, feel different, think differently, respond differently, love differently. Swallow these facts without question... accept them, for it's who they are. Lastly, welcome the differences with an open mind, heart, and soul. It is literally impossible to see eye to eye on everything... and what kind of challenge would it be if two people did? Love isn't supposed to be easy. If it were, we wouldn't grow... and don't you want to grow? Challenge each other. True acceptance is what makes a relationship last when the "flame" has gone out as they say... and it's definitely a two way street requiring an equal balance of give and take between both people. Accept them and see them for all the beauty that they are... good and bad. No one is perfect, but two people can be perfect for each other if they truly see each other. With this acknowledging, swallowing, and welcoming will come the give and take and meeting each other halfway. You'll give them what they need, they'll give you what you need. You'll learn more about yourself and learn from them. Nothing spectacular comes easy. It takes work, and it's easier said then done, but it is so worth trying, don't you think?
This is just the way I see the world.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Stage Six.
Lawrence Kohlberg, a prominent psychologist, developed what is known as "Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development" in the 1950's. In a nutshell this is what it's all about:
Kohlberg has three levels of moral development (pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional) and six stages of moral reasoning. The pre-conventional (mostly seen in children) is when a person approaches a moral dilemma in accordance with the punishment/reward they will receive and doesn’t take into account the perspective of society. The conventional level (seen mostly in adolescence) involves approaching a moral dilemma from society’s perspective and making a decision based on being a part of that society (laws, social norms, etc.), for acceptance/value, or to be a “good” member of said society. The post-conventional level goes beyond taking society’s perspective and now the person bases moral judgments on what they think is right/wrong according to their own principals (regardless of social norms). This final stage is rare… unfortunately... and if it occurs at all in a person, it first happens in early adulthood.
With each stage of Kohlberg’s stages of moral reason, a person is better able to take the perspective of another person. The first stage (at a pre-conventional level) seen in young children is when they are able to take the perspective of only one other person at a time. The second stage is when the child realizes that other people can take on their own perspective. Stage three marks the development into the conventional level of moral development in which the child can now take the perspective of a whole group of significant others, like their family. Stage four is when a person can take the perspective of a whole general group, like society. In the fifth stage, a person seeks principles to bridge differences among groups. They are able to take on the perspective of all groups and come to a reasonable agreement among them.
Stage six is more complicated in that the person now takes the perspective of each other person as that person takes the role of each other person. (ex: Fred takes the role of George and Bob, but he also takes the role of George taking the role of Bob and himself (Fred) and the role of Bob taking on the role of George and himself.)
It's this sixth stage that is so intriguing to me. Not many people reach this level of moral reasoning in their lives. If only ALL people could reach this stage, the world would be a different place. From everything to political decisions to two people in a relationship… it would all be different. People in general would be ten times more accepting as they would now be able to see someone's point of view while that person is also seeing their point of view.
I challenge you to try to think this way. See everyone while they are seeing you. It will change your perspective on life… and the more we do it, the more we'll do it automatically.
Kohlberg has three levels of moral development (pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional) and six stages of moral reasoning. The pre-conventional (mostly seen in children) is when a person approaches a moral dilemma in accordance with the punishment/reward they will receive and doesn’t take into account the perspective of society. The conventional level (seen mostly in adolescence) involves approaching a moral dilemma from society’s perspective and making a decision based on being a part of that society (laws, social norms, etc.), for acceptance/value, or to be a “good” member of said society. The post-conventional level goes beyond taking society’s perspective and now the person bases moral judgments on what they think is right/wrong according to their own principals (regardless of social norms). This final stage is rare… unfortunately... and if it occurs at all in a person, it first happens in early adulthood.
With each stage of Kohlberg’s stages of moral reason, a person is better able to take the perspective of another person. The first stage (at a pre-conventional level) seen in young children is when they are able to take the perspective of only one other person at a time. The second stage is when the child realizes that other people can take on their own perspective. Stage three marks the development into the conventional level of moral development in which the child can now take the perspective of a whole group of significant others, like their family. Stage four is when a person can take the perspective of a whole general group, like society. In the fifth stage, a person seeks principles to bridge differences among groups. They are able to take on the perspective of all groups and come to a reasonable agreement among them.
Stage six is more complicated in that the person now takes the perspective of each other person as that person takes the role of each other person. (ex: Fred takes the role of George and Bob, but he also takes the role of George taking the role of Bob and himself (Fred) and the role of Bob taking on the role of George and himself.)
It's this sixth stage that is so intriguing to me. Not many people reach this level of moral reasoning in their lives. If only ALL people could reach this stage, the world would be a different place. From everything to political decisions to two people in a relationship… it would all be different. People in general would be ten times more accepting as they would now be able to see someone's point of view while that person is also seeing their point of view.
I challenge you to try to think this way. See everyone while they are seeing you. It will change your perspective on life… and the more we do it, the more we'll do it automatically.
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