Acknowledge: to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of.
Swallow: to accept without question or suspicion.
Welcome: given full right by the cordial consent of others.
These three actions can make a relationship soar I believe. If two people focus on these three things, they are set. Acknowledge that your partner may see things a different way, need different things, feel different, think differently, respond differently, love differently. Swallow these facts without question... accept them, for it's who they are. Lastly, welcome the differences with an open mind, heart, and soul. It is literally impossible to see eye to eye on everything... and what kind of challenge would it be if two people did? Love isn't supposed to be easy. If it were, we wouldn't grow... and don't you want to grow? Challenge each other. True acceptance is what makes a relationship last when the "flame" has gone out as they say... and it's definitely a two way street requiring an equal balance of give and take between both people. Accept them and see them for all the beauty that they are... good and bad. No one is perfect, but two people can be perfect for each other if they truly see each other. With this acknowledging, swallowing, and welcoming will come the give and take and meeting each other halfway. You'll give them what they need, they'll give you what you need. You'll learn more about yourself and learn from them. Nothing spectacular comes easy. It takes work, and it's easier said then done, but it is so worth trying, don't you think?
This is just the way I see the world.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Stage Six.
Lawrence Kohlberg, a prominent psychologist, developed what is known as "Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development" in the 1950's. In a nutshell this is what it's all about:
Kohlberg has three levels of moral development (pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional) and six stages of moral reasoning. The pre-conventional (mostly seen in children) is when a person approaches a moral dilemma in accordance with the punishment/reward they will receive and doesn’t take into account the perspective of society. The conventional level (seen mostly in adolescence) involves approaching a moral dilemma from society’s perspective and making a decision based on being a part of that society (laws, social norms, etc.), for acceptance/value, or to be a “good” member of said society. The post-conventional level goes beyond taking society’s perspective and now the person bases moral judgments on what they think is right/wrong according to their own principals (regardless of social norms). This final stage is rare… unfortunately... and if it occurs at all in a person, it first happens in early adulthood.
With each stage of Kohlberg’s stages of moral reason, a person is better able to take the perspective of another person. The first stage (at a pre-conventional level) seen in young children is when they are able to take the perspective of only one other person at a time. The second stage is when the child realizes that other people can take on their own perspective. Stage three marks the development into the conventional level of moral development in which the child can now take the perspective of a whole group of significant others, like their family. Stage four is when a person can take the perspective of a whole general group, like society. In the fifth stage, a person seeks principles to bridge differences among groups. They are able to take on the perspective of all groups and come to a reasonable agreement among them.
Stage six is more complicated in that the person now takes the perspective of each other person as that person takes the role of each other person. (ex: Fred takes the role of George and Bob, but he also takes the role of George taking the role of Bob and himself (Fred) and the role of Bob taking on the role of George and himself.)
It's this sixth stage that is so intriguing to me. Not many people reach this level of moral reasoning in their lives. If only ALL people could reach this stage, the world would be a different place. From everything to political decisions to two people in a relationship… it would all be different. People in general would be ten times more accepting as they would now be able to see someone's point of view while that person is also seeing their point of view.
I challenge you to try to think this way. See everyone while they are seeing you. It will change your perspective on life… and the more we do it, the more we'll do it automatically.
Kohlberg has three levels of moral development (pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional) and six stages of moral reasoning. The pre-conventional (mostly seen in children) is when a person approaches a moral dilemma in accordance with the punishment/reward they will receive and doesn’t take into account the perspective of society. The conventional level (seen mostly in adolescence) involves approaching a moral dilemma from society’s perspective and making a decision based on being a part of that society (laws, social norms, etc.), for acceptance/value, or to be a “good” member of said society. The post-conventional level goes beyond taking society’s perspective and now the person bases moral judgments on what they think is right/wrong according to their own principals (regardless of social norms). This final stage is rare… unfortunately... and if it occurs at all in a person, it first happens in early adulthood.
With each stage of Kohlberg’s stages of moral reason, a person is better able to take the perspective of another person. The first stage (at a pre-conventional level) seen in young children is when they are able to take the perspective of only one other person at a time. The second stage is when the child realizes that other people can take on their own perspective. Stage three marks the development into the conventional level of moral development in which the child can now take the perspective of a whole group of significant others, like their family. Stage four is when a person can take the perspective of a whole general group, like society. In the fifth stage, a person seeks principles to bridge differences among groups. They are able to take on the perspective of all groups and come to a reasonable agreement among them.
Stage six is more complicated in that the person now takes the perspective of each other person as that person takes the role of each other person. (ex: Fred takes the role of George and Bob, but he also takes the role of George taking the role of Bob and himself (Fred) and the role of Bob taking on the role of George and himself.)
It's this sixth stage that is so intriguing to me. Not many people reach this level of moral reasoning in their lives. If only ALL people could reach this stage, the world would be a different place. From everything to political decisions to two people in a relationship… it would all be different. People in general would be ten times more accepting as they would now be able to see someone's point of view while that person is also seeing their point of view.
I challenge you to try to think this way. See everyone while they are seeing you. It will change your perspective on life… and the more we do it, the more we'll do it automatically.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Soultrack.
The soundtrack to my soul is the album Bon Iver, by Bon Iver. With the main theme song being "Perth" [still alive for you, love]. The way some music can captivate every sense and feeling in my body is astonishing. A life without music isn't living.
Friday, June 24, 2011
My Early Story.
My Early Story.
I'm all in doubt
perfect lies all in a line
a freckle, a frown
in the base of your heartbeat
lies the tempo of your soul
And it flies
Join me in the revealing
untie the rebel then flee
Sounds of the centered
we balance through light
Pause then run
Connecting the dots
all smiles and laughter
creating through dust
Its fire on fire
Burning through the cloud
Never reaching melody
Checking in while checking out
I'm all in doubt
perfect lies all in a line
a freckle, a frown
in the base of your heartbeat
lies the tempo of your soul
And it flies
Join me in the revealing
untie the rebel then flee
Sounds of the centered
we balance through light
Pause then run
Connecting the dots
all smiles and laughter
creating through dust
Its fire on fire
Burning through the cloud
Never reaching melody
Checking in while checking out
Friday, May 20, 2011
My Views on Religion & Creation
To be extremely specific, I am a Pragmatic/Diest Agnostic. In a nutshell, this means that I do believe there is a higher being, but that it is ultimately unknowable and therefore I will not live my life in search of answers or in accordance with any one religion. I do believe this higher being, however, does not intervene with the world, but has essentially created and bailed. I believe in love.
Being raised in a strict Christian home while going to church all the time, it came as a surprise to me when I realized I didn't believe in everything I claimed to believe in as a "Christian". I don't believe in the whole Bible (probably best saved for another discussion), so I cannot believe in the religions that it represents. One day I was finally honest with myself and able to accept myself without feeling guilty regarding what I really do believe. I thought about every aspect of my "faith" and went over it in my head until I was able to say with certainty what I do and do not think is true. From here, I figured there has to be other people who believe in the same things as me, so I researched until I found that Agnostic beliefs were the closest fit to how I feel about a higher being and creation, so I now consider myself to be Agnostic. Most people think (as I previously had) that Atheist and Agnostic are the same thing, when really they are polar opposites.
I feel religion only rips people apart. It causes separation and judgement because so many people represent their religion in all the wrong ways (again, that could be a whole other discussion in itself). What this world needs is to believe in love and coexisting. Most people think their religion is the "right" one… but with countless religions out there, and all of them thinking they are correct, how can anyone know for sure that they are right? I feel like most religions boil down to the same beliefs and morals and essentially teach the same things, so really they are all branches off of each other. Most of the time choosing a religion is something you're just born into (for example, if you come from an all Mormon family, odds are you're going to be mormon). People shouldn't be judged or looked down upon because they were raised and instilled with certain values/morals/religion based on their people's tradition and beliefs.
I understand a person's need to feel like there is someone/something in control of the world, (the whole "everything happens for a reason" deal), but as for myself, I don't think that a God who claims to love the world so much, really has any part of what happens here on Earth. How could he/she, after all, if we all have free will? It's extremely contradictory. Saying it's all part of God's plan goes directly against the fact that we all make our own choices because that same God gave us all free will. One person may grow up, find love, get married, and live happily ever after and praise God because it was all part of his plan. Another person may grow up, make bad choices, get back "luck", and blame god for everything that went wrong. A third person may be dealt awful cards in live and still be happy because it's all part of God's plan. And a fourth person (me), may be dealt cards, make their own decisions knowing that they are the only ones that shape their own lives… not blaming or thanking anyone, but know that we are all simply drifting and end up where we end up based on the choices that we make, no plan from any higher being. Good things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people… it's all chance. If I were to think that there is a God who loves us who IS in control of what happens to this world, it makes me feel sick. How could a higher being in control let such horrible things happen? Every Christian's answer (that I've heard) is "because God can't control free will". Exactly. So like I said, no plan, just free will and the laws of nature…this is what shapes our lives. There can't be both. I don't understand why people don't see this. Thomas Henry Huxley, who pretty much started the Agnostic view int he 1800's stated, "I cannot see one shadow or tittle of evidence that the great unknown underlying the phenomenon of the universe stands to us in the relation of a Father [who] loves us and cares for us as Christianity asserts." My thoughts exactly.
The Catholic church teaches that: "God, the beginning and end of all, can, by the natural light of human reason, be known with certainty from the works of creation." This is exactly why I DO believe in a higher being. I don't think our world and humanity happened by chance or through billions of years of evolution. The world is beautiful and amazing and life is a treasure, and I think someone created it to be that way. I see the miracle of life and humanity through my daughter and the world around me, and that is proof enough for me to know that something created it, and I am thankful.
Huxley said, "I do not aim at constructing a complete philosophy of the Unknowable, but at excluding special kinds of truth, notably religious, from the domain of knowledge." This says perfectly why I will not spend so much time and energy during my life focusing on things I cannot know. I cannot know if there is one right religion, I cannot tell anyone they are wrong or right with what they believe, I cannot know what happens after death; therefore, I will not spend my life wondering or be in fear of something I have no control over. I will not rest my hopes and life on religious convictions. I will simply live my life loving, being happy, and enjoying the world I was given while coexisting with others to stimulate peace and acceptance.
Because of these views, I do not pray. Since I don't think there is any higher being in control of everything, why would I? The creator, I believe, is all knowing, and therefore knows my thoughts and feelings at all times anyways. He/she may know my sorrows, my happiness, my thoughts, my frustrations, my thankfulness, etc… but it does not provide me comfort at all in directly expressing these things through prayer.
Since being Agnostic is essentially asserting that I can't know what I don't know, I have no problem what-so-ever in what other people believe. I understand why they believe what they do, though at the same time I feel bad for them, because so many are closed-minded and have a one track mind, following blindly without question, thinking all others are wrong. But I understand and I accept it. The only thing I don't understand is that people use religion as a weapon, not as a means to love unconditionally and lead by example to promote love and peace among everyone.
There is so much to be said, but I'll stop here for now.
Being raised in a strict Christian home while going to church all the time, it came as a surprise to me when I realized I didn't believe in everything I claimed to believe in as a "Christian". I don't believe in the whole Bible (probably best saved for another discussion), so I cannot believe in the religions that it represents. One day I was finally honest with myself and able to accept myself without feeling guilty regarding what I really do believe. I thought about every aspect of my "faith" and went over it in my head until I was able to say with certainty what I do and do not think is true. From here, I figured there has to be other people who believe in the same things as me, so I researched until I found that Agnostic beliefs were the closest fit to how I feel about a higher being and creation, so I now consider myself to be Agnostic. Most people think (as I previously had) that Atheist and Agnostic are the same thing, when really they are polar opposites.
I feel religion only rips people apart. It causes separation and judgement because so many people represent their religion in all the wrong ways (again, that could be a whole other discussion in itself). What this world needs is to believe in love and coexisting. Most people think their religion is the "right" one… but with countless religions out there, and all of them thinking they are correct, how can anyone know for sure that they are right? I feel like most religions boil down to the same beliefs and morals and essentially teach the same things, so really they are all branches off of each other. Most of the time choosing a religion is something you're just born into (for example, if you come from an all Mormon family, odds are you're going to be mormon). People shouldn't be judged or looked down upon because they were raised and instilled with certain values/morals/religion based on their people's tradition and beliefs.
I understand a person's need to feel like there is someone/something in control of the world, (the whole "everything happens for a reason" deal), but as for myself, I don't think that a God who claims to love the world so much, really has any part of what happens here on Earth. How could he/she, after all, if we all have free will? It's extremely contradictory. Saying it's all part of God's plan goes directly against the fact that we all make our own choices because that same God gave us all free will. One person may grow up, find love, get married, and live happily ever after and praise God because it was all part of his plan. Another person may grow up, make bad choices, get back "luck", and blame god for everything that went wrong. A third person may be dealt awful cards in live and still be happy because it's all part of God's plan. And a fourth person (me), may be dealt cards, make their own decisions knowing that they are the only ones that shape their own lives… not blaming or thanking anyone, but know that we are all simply drifting and end up where we end up based on the choices that we make, no plan from any higher being. Good things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people… it's all chance. If I were to think that there is a God who loves us who IS in control of what happens to this world, it makes me feel sick. How could a higher being in control let such horrible things happen? Every Christian's answer (that I've heard) is "because God can't control free will". Exactly. So like I said, no plan, just free will and the laws of nature…this is what shapes our lives. There can't be both. I don't understand why people don't see this. Thomas Henry Huxley, who pretty much started the Agnostic view int he 1800's stated, "I cannot see one shadow or tittle of evidence that the great unknown underlying the phenomenon of the universe stands to us in the relation of a Father [who] loves us and cares for us as Christianity asserts." My thoughts exactly.
The Catholic church teaches that: "God, the beginning and end of all, can, by the natural light of human reason, be known with certainty from the works of creation." This is exactly why I DO believe in a higher being. I don't think our world and humanity happened by chance or through billions of years of evolution. The world is beautiful and amazing and life is a treasure, and I think someone created it to be that way. I see the miracle of life and humanity through my daughter and the world around me, and that is proof enough for me to know that something created it, and I am thankful.
Huxley said, "I do not aim at constructing a complete philosophy of the Unknowable, but at excluding special kinds of truth, notably religious, from the domain of knowledge." This says perfectly why I will not spend so much time and energy during my life focusing on things I cannot know. I cannot know if there is one right religion, I cannot tell anyone they are wrong or right with what they believe, I cannot know what happens after death; therefore, I will not spend my life wondering or be in fear of something I have no control over. I will not rest my hopes and life on religious convictions. I will simply live my life loving, being happy, and enjoying the world I was given while coexisting with others to stimulate peace and acceptance.
Because of these views, I do not pray. Since I don't think there is any higher being in control of everything, why would I? The creator, I believe, is all knowing, and therefore knows my thoughts and feelings at all times anyways. He/she may know my sorrows, my happiness, my thoughts, my frustrations, my thankfulness, etc… but it does not provide me comfort at all in directly expressing these things through prayer.
Since being Agnostic is essentially asserting that I can't know what I don't know, I have no problem what-so-ever in what other people believe. I understand why they believe what they do, though at the same time I feel bad for them, because so many are closed-minded and have a one track mind, following blindly without question, thinking all others are wrong. But I understand and I accept it. The only thing I don't understand is that people use religion as a weapon, not as a means to love unconditionally and lead by example to promote love and peace among everyone.
There is so much to be said, but I'll stop here for now.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Up Up & Away.
I recently purchased one of those iPod player/charger/alarm clock things so now I can go to bed while listening to music and wake up to my feel-good-and-get-pumped-for-the-day-even-though-you-may-or-may-not-be-feelin-it songs.
Everyone wants to wake up on their own terms (both literally and metaphorically speaking), here are mine:
♥
Everyone wants to wake up on their own terms (both literally and metaphorically speaking), here are mine:
♥
Saturday, May 14, 2011
To the limit.
You know those days when you wake up knowing you're going to have to force yourself to have a good day? Where you try to distract yourself in every way possible? Clean the house (when it's already clean), do all the laundry, run all the errands you've been meaning to run for weeks, sew a button on a shirt, hard boil some eggs, clean out your fridge, wash your sheets, and take all the trash out even though its not even halfway full? When your favorite songs don't even seem to lift your spirits? Then none of this seem to draw your mind away from the things you don't want to think about? Yeah… those days really suck.
To whom it may concern: "Meet Me Halfway" - BEP
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